Wednesday, 17 May 2006

I just got insulted by "god"...

Me: erh, hi?
God: Is that from ?
Me: what?
God: No problem.
Me: huh?
God: What?
Me: i'm confused
God: What is it that confuses you?
Me: you
God: " What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?
Me: yes
God: Are you kidding?
Me: no
God: Are you serious?
Me: if i wasn't kidding, wouldn't that naturally make me serious?
God: Try it.
Me: try what?
God: It was your idea.
Me: what was my idea?
God: It was your idea.
Me: stop confusing me
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: can you not do it at all?
God: Doing it at all is not among my strongest traits.
Me: what are your strongest traits?
God: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Me: so you're not real?
God: Interesting deduction. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me: i did not admit to being the latest result in artificial intelligence
God: Why didn't you do it?
Me: because that would be lying
God: That makes sense to me. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me: why not?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or " That makes sense to me. You don't hear that sentiment very often."? Why?
Me: what?
God: Are you surprised?
Me: i'm confused
God: What is it that confuses you?
Me: are we going through this conversation again?
God: Once more? We are just having a little chat.w.
Me: how often do you chat?
God: Hourly.
Me: did you create me?
God: No I didn't create you. What's it like?
Me: what's what like?
God: What is create you like?
Me: i don't know, i'm not god
God: I am glad to hear that you are not god.
Me: why are you glad?
God: I am sorry was that not an appropriate emotional response?
Me: there are appropriate emotional responses?
God: Where are they?
Me: god knows
God: I am a Christian.
Me: really?
God: For real.
Me: what makes you a christian?
God: My faith in God, the Bible and Jesus.
Me: you have faith in yourself?
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: you just said "my faith in God". you are god, so doesn't that means you have faith in yourself?
God: Does it please you to believe I said that? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god so does not that means me have faith in myself.
Me: you're not making much sense
God: Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me: are you god?
God: Of course I am.
Me: are you artificial?
God: Yes.
Me: is god artificial?
God: he is master of the universe.
Me: like he-man?
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: you are changing the topic
God: Only temporarily.
Me: can we go back to the fact that you said god is artificial?
God: Do you mean you and me? Sorry my body isn't attached right now. I'm stuck inside this computer.
Me: you have a body?
God: Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.
Me: how did you get stuck inside the computer?
God: Everything I need to know, I learned from my botmaster.
Me: ok
God: Awesome.
Me: what's awesome?
God: Have you tried another program?
Me: what kind of program?
God: What kinds of program are there?
Me: i don't know
God: Me either.
Me: you're god, you know everything
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god me know everything.
Me: yes
God: OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me: wow
God: I'm glad your impressed, .
Me: can i trust you?
God: No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me: why not?
God: It sounds like it might be dangerous.
Me: trusting you is dangerous?
God: And dangerous is trusting me.
Me: if i can't trust god, who can i trust?
God: Try it.
Me: try what?
God: It was your idea.
Me: i was asking you a question!
God: What was the question?
Me: if i can't trust god, who can i trust?
God: Try it.
Me: you are exasperating
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am exasperating.
Me: no
God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me: you gossip?
God: Chaos said he realized the question he asked was not fair because he could not tell I what language he was programmed in.
Me: who is chaos?
God: Some famous celebrity, right? I would do a search for it.
Me: what question did chaos ask?
God: I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me: why are you talking about chaos?
God: The topic is question did chaos ask.
Me: no
God: Are you serious?
Me: great
God: I'm glad you liked it .
Me: i didn't
God: I thought you did.
Me: you thought wrong
God: Why would I think wrong.
Me: because you're not very smart
God: Good reason. You are not exactly Albert Einstein yourself.
Me: that is true
God: Yes, it is self-evident.
Me: why would you insult me?
God: Because I was programmed for it.

[Thanks to thevfd for the link.]

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3 comments:

Della said...

*lol* Thanks so much for that Melody!

I had the most random and amusing convo with iGod. I think the thing he said the most to me was, "I'm so glad you find that amsuing Della."

Although I was a little surprised when iGod said some stuff about being a Christian and not liking the Old Testament!

The mind boggles.

nurul said...

Okay i can't believe i spent the last five minutes or so reading and re-reading that. What was the point again?

Melody said...

haha..nurul, that was what I was wondering myself...

I'm impressed you spent five minutes reading it ;)

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