this is ridiculous. I have to go for this "Intro to Microsoft Excel" course this evening. That in itself is fine. Great that the office wants its employees to upgrade themselves. But surely, it's kind of defeating the purpose if your employee already knows how to use Excel!!! And the thing is for 2 hours!!! I spent one whole semester in College learning that stupid program. I'm the only one in the office who knows how to use Excel. I've been producing databases and charts and what have you since I arrived and still they're sending me on an Introduction to Excel course?!?!?! Explain to me the reasoning behind that.

And i can't get out of it. Pat, the only other person in an office of 5, is going as well, and she has blackmailed me emotionally. "You have to keep me company!" You really can't say no when an elderly lady who's been so nice to you since you've arrived plead with you like that...but I only promised I'll go and check it out and will leave if I find that it's not benefitting me at all.

Have already asked Fanja to come and pick me up halfway through the course. There is no way I'm going to be sitting in that classroom for two hours learning something I already know.

after being hounded about the latest on my "what the heck am I planning to do after this year" saga, I guess I should get off my lazy bottom and update my blog. I really am getting quite lazy lately. What is happening to me?!?!?! Must be the heat...it's been really hot here lately. Which is amazing. I never thought I'd get hot in England. Anyway...

Oh, need to digress for a while. Saw this really weird but amazing film called Donnie Darko last night and it's got the coolest website. It's about this guy who's more or less schizo, but then it's got time travel as well...it was just strange. But I think it was really well done, especially from a film student point of view. Not your typical blow 'em up Hollywood action flick - which is what makes it really good.

Back to my saga - I got a call this afternoon from this company with regards to my resume. I messed up. Ok this is what happened.

Him: "Hello Melody. I'm calling from Perfect Day with regards to your resume."
Me: "Oh, great! Hi."
Him: "So what exactly are you looking for?"
Me: Have no idea what he's talking about coz have no idea where he's from or when I sent the resume, which is my fault. I really should keep track of where I send my stuff "Sorry, where did you say you were calling from?"
Him: "Perfect Day."
Me: still have no idea what he's talking about "erm well, I'm actually looking for a job in the media."
Him: "Media?!?! The media?!?!? I think you've made a mistake, we're actually a consultancy firm."
Me: "Oh."
Him: "I guess we must have gotten your CV by mistake."
Me: "Yeah...I think so...."
Him: "Ok then, goodbye."
Me: "Goodbye."

As Maya would say....DUH

my hopes of working for Nat Geo have gone down the toilet :o( Got this from Kim McKay, VP of Marketing for Nat Geo, the lady Anna introduced me to:

Unfortunately NGCI does not have any job vacancies at the moment - if anything we're cutting back here in DC. I suggest you send your resume to NG's Human resources division - there's also a list of available positions posted on the website....By the way, do you have a work permit for the US? The only people who are 'transferred' and have visas sponsored are senior execs (it's quite a costly business) unless you have a green card.

Best wishes in your search and I'm sorry I don't have anything else to offer

1. I've sent in my resume to HR before...granted that was almost 2 years ago and my resume has changed drastically since then, but the biggest problem is
2. I have no work permit, and the chances of me getting a green card is next to nothing. Unless I start surfing websites like www.getanamericanhusband.com. Unfortunately, I don't think I want to work for National Geographic THAT badly.

Back to the old drawing block...my options have now gone down to 4 and I have this stinking feeling that I'm going to go to Avondale...

praying for you about your choices and God's direction too.

That's what my mom told me in her email to me this morning. She should have been given me fair warning BEFORE she started praying. No wonder I've suddenly been swamped with all these options. Tell me, what am I supposed to do:

1. Study MA (Communication) at Oxford
2. Teach English in Korea
3. Work with Nat Geo in Washington, DC - granted, I only sent in my resume which means I may not even get the job...
4. Look for a job in London/England
5. the lastest headache...I just got news that there's an opening at Avondale for a PR Coordinator. The position's for 3 years. And honestly, I am so tempted. I really miss Avondale, and so many of my friends are still there...it sounds perfect EXCEPT that it's working for the church, and I distinctively remember promising myself at the beginning of this year that I will NEVER work for the church again...

ARGHHHHH....when it rains, it pours...God knows how to have fun.

an update since Saturday: NOTHING HAPPENED. Hahaha....well, nothing thoroughly exciting at least. Not that I've had previous events that have been heart-stoppingly, breath-takingly, adrenaline-rushingly exciting. I finally wrote my cover letter and sent in my resume to National Geographic in Washington, DC. Am furiously praying now. Also sent in my resume to the Uni of Northampton for a Press Officer position, and am currently being hounded be a Korean pastor because he wants me to go teach English in Korea. Now, that thought had crossed my mind before, but the moment has since passed. If he caught me a few months ago, I might have said yes and jumped on the next plane to Korea. Now...I'm just faced with too many options. I'm still contemplating if I wanna do my MA (Communications) in Oxford next year. Argh! And I was complaining I had nothing to do after this year. When it rains, it pours. God loves a good laugh.

Oh, wrote something last night as well. Being on a volunteer scheme, the organisation that I'm with emails weekly newsletters featuring a particular volunteers to everybody under their scheme. Well, next week's gonna be my turn and so I was asked to write something yesterday. So being the good old obedient me, I wrote something:

A writer unable to write. Not because there’s nothing to write about, but because there’s simply too much to say. Six months have passed since I arrived at Heathrow Airport, excited and bright-eyed, to begin my year as a Marketing and PR assistant at Newbold College in King Arthur country – home of myths, legends and history.

The last six months spent in England have been absolutely incredible. My main duties at Newbold lay in writing news articles and promotional materials, skills I spent the last three years in Avondale College honing as I worked on a degree in Communication. It wasn’t quite work, since writing is literally an extension of who I am.

Of course, it wasn’t all sunshine and flowers. I have to be completely honest and say that there was the initial loneliness and ensuing depression, there was the frustration when I found out that things didn’t and wasn’t going to go the way I thought it would, there was the disappointment of being let down and left on my own and the unfortunate event of being taken for granted. Most devastatingly, there was the downhill walk with God…

I have to admit that the thought of giving up and leaving flashed through my mind on several occasions. And yet, this was where I knew God had led me, this was where I knew God wanted me to be and of course, there was the ongoing romance I had with England itself which meant that I was not going to let this opportunity slip through my fingers just because I lacked endurance and perseverance. So I stuck around, and at this point in time, I have to say that I had the most amazing six months of my life.

Being in England meant an easy access to so many different places, within Britain as well as all over Europe. I found out ways to travel unbelievably cheaply around Europe, which was great for my volunteer paycheck. I travelled like there was no tomorrow. Every weekend, I would find myself in a different location – Amsterdam, Venice, Bath, Sweden, Windsor, Rome…the list continued to grow. My passion for history and the arts was fuelled as I ran my fingers across ancient ruins, visited incredible museums and breathed in the electrifying atmosphere of London as I attended a few of its endless number of musicals and theatre shows.

And most amazing of all was how God never gave me up even though I was more than prepared to forget about Him. He would bring different people into my life who would gently nudge me towards the right direction with nothing more than their own love for Him. It wasn’t an overnight process, but one day while sitting in the fields in the south of France, contemplating and writing about life, I was suddenly filled with understanding and brought to a whole new level of faith in God.

Proverbs 3:5,6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.”

It used to be my favourite verse, and it was the only thing that I could think of that day. And with that new found trust and love for God, I was able to face whatever difficulties that came my way. And on top of it all, I would not have survived six months in Newbold without the support of family and friends who were consistently praying for me and being there for me.

Making the decision to live in England for a year has been amazing as I immersed myself into a completely new culture and was able to experience relationships with God, family and friends as I would never had. My England Tales continue…

and i was just complaining that i was about to go crazy due to the lack of people on campus. God really knows how to provide.

On my way to church this morning, I bumped into Fanza, whom I thought had returned to Paris for the summer holidays. Turns out that she did, but is actually now back and will be here for the rest of the holidays. But ended up going to this other church service instead because Cydknee's mom was singing. After service, got invited to Sophie's place for lunch, together with Cydknee and her family. That was absolutely brilliant. She had curry and roti and rice...and this never ending servings of ice-cream...yuuummmm.....

Stuffed my face full and was late for my mom's phonecall. Was rushing back to my room to call her when I got waylaid by Fanza, who was standing in front of the boys' dorm talking to this two guys, one of whom is Darren, this really nice Irish guy who works in maintenance. Anyway, they tried to convince me to go off to Virginia Waters with them, but I couldn't coz I had to call my mom. But they ended up convincing me that I should go call my mom, but make it a short phonecall and they'd wait for me before they took off.

Had a really fun time at Virginia Waters. Only knew Fanza and Darren, but there were 6 other folks there as well and we spent about 2 hours just walking, sitting and chatting. And in about 15mins, we're all going to go to Darren's place to watch DVDs and eat SEVEN TUBS OF HAAGAN DAZS ICE-CREAM. ooohhhh...i'm gonna get fat....but hey, at least I'm finally going to be around people! Yes!

darn it. just called Lidija. Coz of the holidays, she's at home more often now and so don't need me to clean her house today. There goes my £30. Damn. Curse the summer holidays. It's already driving me nuts because there's not a soul around and I'm craving to have people around me to talk to and now it's taken away my extra pocket money of £30 a week!

At least she said she'd need me to iron her clothes next Friday......

now i am seriously confused. Received this email from my ex-College lecturer this morning:

Melody--

Do you think you will want to take the MA in Communication at Oxford (Oxford Centre for Mission Studies) next year? I think it starts in March. If so, let me know and I will start asking for funds for your scholarship. It would be a good opportunity for you to catch a graduate degree and with good timing, too, only one year out of college. Hope to hear from you.

do i really want to study again? most importantly, can I afford it? True, there is a scholarship, but I'd have to pay for accommodation and living expenses and that would total almost £10,000 anyway. I don't have £10,000 but it's tempting, oh so tempting...argh, I hate it when I'm tempted with all these options...

am hit by a sudden wave of lack of motivation. i just don't feel like doing anything, including writing *gasps*. I have to do a write up on Sweden and Rome and probably Bristol (which happened TWO months ago) and i just don't feel like it. Would be helpful to write an article or two as well to submit to this mag and hopefully get some $$$, but I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

spent 4 mind-numbing hours last night condensing my 4 page resume into a 2 page one to send to National Geographic (Anna, my ex-boss from when I did an internship with Nat Geo Singapore gave me some contacts) and I feel completely dead. Have to work on a cover letter, as well as applications to other places, but I simply have no motivation. I just wanna sit in front of the computer, surf the web and read stuff. I don't even know why I'm blogging since I don't even feel like doing this. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't even feel like replying to my emails...

and I so badly need to scrub toilets tomorrow. I only have £20 to my name at the moment. But Lidija's not calling me back to let me know if she needs me!! Argh. Need money. Need motivation to apply for jobs that will give me money. Have no motivation = no money. No money = no motivation. Do I sense a sick sad cycle? Am rambling. Will stop now.

now, I haven't watched Hong Kong swordfighting movies in a long while and although I used to love it as a child, it doesn't appeal to me as much as it used to, or as much as Hollywood films do. Except recently, I'm actually beginning to miss them. Actually, I'm just getting sick of Hollywood films. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I watched Hero yesterday and it was rather good! The storyline/style isn't that original I guess, very much like Kurosawa's Rashômon and it would seem that Zhang Yimou (director) was trying very hard to cater to the American market, but ultimately, it was still good old HK swordfighting.

and also, I don't usually fancy Asian stars, well Asians, for that matter, but my goodness....Tony Leung is one sexy guy. He really is quite fanciable! And he looked soooooo good in the movie. (No, that wasn't why I watched the movie, although knowing that he was in it helped.) so excuse me while i escape into tony leung heaven...

stuffing envelopes kills the brain, stuffing envelopes kills the brain, stuffing envelopes kills the brain......

back!!!! never managed to go to Athens, but Rome was more than enough to take my breath away. 5 days and it sure ain't enough. I'm going back to Rome one day. It's on my list of fave cities....I absolutely love it.

Feeling really lazy right now, so will not write much. But will soon enough...in the meantime, will have to clean my room, do my washing and post out a few packages to friends and family...