am extremely flattered. afraid i can't deliver, but flattered nonetheless.

i got approached to help out with this new format saturday afternoon worship thingy happening at college. someone recommended me saying that i'd do a fantastic job with powerpoint presentations. so now i'm going to be in charge of coming up with inspirational, artistic, thematic, what-have-you powerpoint presentations every saturday arvo. honestly am still not entirely sure what it's all about, but i know that i agreed to help, and so now i've jumped into the deep end of the water. just hope i'd be able to do a good job. our first meeting is this evening, so i guess i'd know more details soon.

other than that...yesterday was extremely busy with registration. today hasn't been any better, but thankfully, despite the busyness, i'm not feeling stressed or anything. It's a good kind of busy. A kind of busy in which I know I'm being productive.

Scotland, by the way, was absolutely amazing. We drove more than a thousand miles in 4 days but it was just simply fantastic. The breathtaking scenery, hills, trees, lakes, castle ruins, sheep....not a single mile went by without me going "oh wow". It's a beautiful beautiful country...

darn tagboard and its technical issues. it better get resolved by the time i'm back from Scotland. (miss getting love notes from celebrities)

nothing much to add...i'm more or less spiralling down towards depression again, Kristin and Maya would know why...although like before, i'm equally sure that i'll spring back up and am also aware that God is with me. Only thing is, it is so hard. But hey, lessons are learnt the best when it hurts. i'll get over it. the sun still shines...

...and i leave for Scotland tomorrow morning! (hopefully i'll more or less cheer up by then)

now, this doesn't happen very often. Was talking to one of the deans for the dorms yesterday and he suddenly looked at me and asked, "Did you get married recently?"

Caught totally off-guard, I stared blankly at him and finally said, "To who?" (lame answer I know, but that question was a first for me.)

Anyway, once the whole misunderstand was cleared up, with me showing him my lack of a ring no less, he told me that there was a wedding a few weeks ago and he saw me all dressed up. He put 2 and 2 together and got 5.

I leave it up to you to come up with the moral of the story.

having a gloriously boring day. Staff meeting day today...started at 9am, and looks set to go on all the way till 6pm. At least we have an extended 1.5hours lunchbreak. Whoopeee!!! *rolls eyes* Been sitting in a corner twiddling my thumbs, looking out the window at the leaves being blown by the wind the whole of this morning. Don't even try to ask me what the agenda was. Now, I have to go back and sit there for another 4 hours.

I'm going in prepared this time....I'm bringing in with me....drum roll please....The Gormenghast Trilogy Quite an interesting book, although it has taken me about 3 months to get to where I am now (which is less than a third of the book finished). Rather vivid Gothic imagery, very bleak and dark, and it's one of those books where you can put it down, forget about it for weeks, pick it up again and continue reading without much problem. Which was my case, that's why I'm taking months to finish it. By the way, there are 953 pages....which makes it similar in size to The Lord of the Rings, which is another book that I have yet to finish, and with the fact that it's currently lying on my bed in Singapore....I don't think I'm going to be finishing it till at least next year.

And before I forget, will be leaving this coming Friday morning for Scotland. Won't be back till Tuesday. So don't think that I've been abducted by aliens...AGAIN. Will be a Mini adventure. Driving up with Fanja, Adrian and Lynn in Adrian's Mini Cooper...going to be interesting, how we're all gonna fit.

Alright, time to continue my torment....

another weekend…except this one is going to be vastly different. Kristin’s enjoying Australia but suffering in Avondale with assignments (hee!), Nat’s somewhere in America right now dealing with troubled kids from Detroit, Nathan’s probably just landed in Canada and Cydknee leaves Saturday night to get married in Germany (she says no, but we all say yes, so there.)

Of course, I’ve still got a bunch of friends left to keep my company, but so many significant people gone…I really hate saying goodbyes. It seems that on the day in 2000 when I stepped on the plane to leave for Australia was the beginning of all my goodbyes.

Why do we always meet people, give them a piece of our emotional being, only to have to be separated again?

Why do I constantly subject myself to making temporal friendships that last only a year?

Why do I have to either leave friends behind, or get left behind, only to miss them terribly and be able to contact them only through emails and the odd phonecall?

Why do we never get used to saying goodbyes?

I miss you guys…all those in Singapore whom I’ve known for a huge part of my life, those in Australia whom I’ve drawn close to over the last three years, and all the others in various part of the world who have in one way or other touched my life in unspeakable ways.

This has gotta be one of the weirdest conversation I've had on MSN.

Maya: i didnt know it was so hard to search for a flight that goes to puerto rico. must take flight to miami and then to puerto rico.
Mel: you're going to puerto rico?!?!?!
Maya: OMG, it is SGD 2072. SO BLOODY EXPENSIVE
Mel: tell ricky (Martin, the Latino singer who was in Singapore for a concert, which Maya went to, which is the reason for her obsession....actually, the obsession started a long time ago....) to pay for it man
Maya: if i go to puerto rico i have to stay on the streets
Mel: why?
Maya: bec with 2000odd SGD gone on airfare, what would I eat or sleep with??
Mel:save up for it
Maya: besides Ricky
Mel: you can sell your body hahahahahahahahaha since you're already sleeping on the streets
Maya: only to him, not to others, hahahaha
Mel: Dear Ricky, I'm looking to sell my body. Would you want to buy it? Love Maya
Maya: dear maya, i don't want to. save it. love, ricky. PS i dun like fat gals
Maya: Dear Ricky, BUGGER OFF!!! Love, Maya
Mel: Dear Ricky, you're not that skinny yourself. Love Mel. p.s: watch your back, i know where you live and i have connections with the mafia
Maya: Dear Mel, I am married to the mob, love Ricky
Mel: Dear Ricky, aaaahhh..easier to kill you then! love mel
Maya: Dear Maya, FINE i will pay for everything u want in San Juan, Puerto Rico, love Rikcy
Mel: Dear Ricky, good boy. Can you pay for me too? love mel
Maya: Dear Mel, I would but Maya wants to be alone with me, so I am sorry I can't. Love, Ricky
Maya: But she said I can send you to Antartica
Mel: Dear Maya, some friend you are. Love Mel
Mel: Dear Ricky, if that's the case, it's fine with me. Just pay for my trip to Greece and MAKE SURE ORLANDO BLOOM IS THERE. love mel
Maya: ............................Sorry, was occupied there with Maya. What did u say?
Mel: Dear Ricky, the mob is after you....Love, Mel
Maya: News Report: A couple is found dead after a mob attack. Belived to be Ricky Martin and his gf Maya Kassim. Police are investigating the case. We will bring you more updates of this tragic case
Mel: St Peter: Ricky, for fornicating with both gays and gals, you go to hell. Maya...well, Maya...what are we supposed to do about you?
Maya: Erm, i m a Muslim so can you send me back to Earth? Oh and Ricky too. We want to atone for our sins. So we will get married, and THEN fornicate.

got mauled by a cat last night. so there i was sitting when this cat came by and started rubbing itself against my legs. started petting and stroking it while i was having Bible studies with Fanja. kind of got distracted and so stopped stroking it.

it went for my hand.

that wasn't when it mauled me tho. I got what it was getting at, so I continued stroking it. Then at one point of time when I stopped and got back to stroking it again, IT DREW BLOOD. There's a loooong scratch line on my palm near my thumb, as well as a smaller one on my little finger.

anyone up for BBQ cat??? *evil glint*

had a movie marathon on Saturday evening. Started at about 11pm and didn't finish till 8am the next day. Of course, when we started out we had at least 10 people, but by 8am there were only 2 who were awake.

Movies we watched:
1. Office Space - low budget not too bad comedy
2. Phonebooth
3. About Schmidt - starring Jack Nicholson...about a retiree and how he found meaning in life, so to speak. Slow movie, but great acting.

Now....PHONEBOOTH

This is one heck of an awesome movie. For its cinematography, for its dialogue, for its script, for the statements about life and society, for its Christian undertones, for its acting....everything about it is just fantastic. It is a film student's heaven, that's all I can say.

Those of you wondering, it stars Colin Farrell (unfortunate last name, but with a less than unfortunate face) as this PR guy who is also a chronic liar who doesn't give a damn about other people. He picks up a call in a phonebooth and the call's from a sniper who threatens to shoot him if he leaves the phonebooth. So practically THE ENTIRE MOVIE revolved around Colin in a phonebooth talking to the sniper. And amazingly, although there is only one scene, it still leaves you at the edge of your seat. Without revealing too much, all i have to say is that by the end of the movie, Colin redeems himself and the way he does it was P-O-W-E-R-F-U-L.

Really good movie. And honestly, the storyline, the script was more than well-written. Kudos to Phonebooth.

i went swimming yesterday. felt all good, finally going for some exercise....

swam a grand total of TWO laps and my arms and legs were screaming for mercy. Didn't help that I forgot my goggles which meant that I had to swim with my head above water, something that I am totally bad at. Tried swimming underwater, but when I emerged and opened my eyes, my contact lenses kind of did a rotation around my eyeball, so I thought going underwater again may be a bad idea.

whatever happened to strength, endurance, fitness?!?! I am hopelessly pathetic...

Don't plan anything strenuous, put suncream on the children and keep your bottled water handy. Britain will bake. The Independent, 5 August

"Bookmakers are sweating on what could be a large payout if thermometers top 100F (37.8C). Ladbrokes have cut their odds from 33-1 to 2-1 and Warren Lush, the company’s spokesman, said: 'This is the biggest weather gamble we have seen, double that of 1976. We are getting a bit nervous and doing rain dances because we stand to lose a six-figure sum if it hits 100.'" Times Online article excerpt

Also on BBC news yesterday evening, they were giving out tips on how to keep cool...advice like eat little, but often; drink lots of water, etc.

1. Coming from Singapore where weather like this is the norm, and also from Australia where summer heat hits 40C, I'm finding it highly amusing that advice like these are dished out on national news, and newspapers.

2. Weather gambling?!?! Rain dancing?!?!?

Only in England, only in England...

Still, it doesn't excuse the fact that it is stinking hot, the office has no air-conditioning and is killing me, and I was certainly not expecting Singapore weather in wet and grey England!

"Did the fact ever cross your mind that you are here in this world just to understand the Lord Jesus Christ, and for no other reason? - George MacDonald, from Dr Larry Crabb's book Finding God

My time here in England as a volunteer has served its purpose.

I had grandoise dreams when I first arrived in England as a "missionary". True, I knew I was going to go into a PR job, but I still dreamt of me doing great things for God. I would make an impact on this world. Or Newbold at least. I would share my faith with folks, and as a "true missionary" I would cause them to want to know God more.

Oh how greatly I was mistaken. Oh how greatly I was working by my own definition of serving God.

That, together with several other frustrations with the environment here, led to a major depression. "Why am I here?", "What purpose am I serving?"...questions about my volunteer position, but reflecting the greater question "What is the meaning of life?"

I struggled. I floundered. I got upset with God. I wanted to give up. Give up my volunteer position, give up God, and at a point, give up living.

Yet, God never left me. He was constantly at the back of my mind whispering "I'm still here Mel. Just give me a chance and it will all make sense. Have faith my child. Trust..." To cut a long story short, I returned to His ever-open arms, and returned I did, with an embrace as I had never given before.

Looking back, my relationship with God has been taken into a whole new level this year. I have more faith in Him, I love Him so much more...and I've come to realise that nothing, and I mean nothing else in this world matters except to find my God.

My time here in England as a volunteer has served its purpose. My time here on Earth has a purpose.

may not be updating blog for a while as am still trying to orientate myself, as well as give myself time to grieve.

1. Kristin left for Avondale on Wednesday
2. Going to Paris has amounted in a rather massive amount of pile-up at work that I have to sort out (yes, I do occassionally work)
3. Ruth's 10 year wedding anniversary blessing thingy this Sunday
4. Nat's leaving Monday
5. Nathan's leaving the Thursday after next
6. Cydknee leaves the day after Nathan

All my friends are leaving me!!!!!! Excuse me while I wail...but I will still be writing about my adventures in Paris. As soon as I clean up the disgusting mess that is my room.

I had a hair cut! It feels great to longer have those fried ends on my hair! Of course, since Kristin's the one who actually cut my hair, it isn't the best hair cut I've ever had. But hey, she did a pretty decent job and with curly hair, it goes pretty much unnoticed!