"Did the fact ever cross your mind that you are here in this world just to understand the Lord Jesus Christ, and for no other reason? - George MacDonald, from Dr Larry Crabb's book Finding God
My time here in England as a volunteer has served its purpose.
I had grandoise dreams when I first arrived in England as a "missionary". True, I knew I was going to go into a PR job, but I still dreamt of me doing great things for God. I would make an impact on this world. Or Newbold at least. I would share my faith with folks, and as a "true missionary" I would cause them to want to know God more.
Oh how greatly I was mistaken. Oh how greatly I was working by my own definition of serving God.
That, together with several other frustrations with the environment here, led to a major depression. "Why am I here?", "What purpose am I serving?"...questions about my volunteer position, but reflecting the greater question "What is the meaning of life?"
I struggled. I floundered. I got upset with God. I wanted to give up. Give up my volunteer position, give up God, and at a point, give up living.
Yet, God never left me. He was constantly at the back of my mind whispering "I'm still here Mel. Just give me a chance and it will all make sense. Have faith my child. Trust..." To cut a long story short, I returned to His ever-open arms, and returned I did, with an embrace as I had never given before.
Looking back, my relationship with God has been taken into a whole new level this year. I have more faith in Him, I love Him so much more...and I've come to realise that nothing, and I mean nothing else in this world matters except to find my God.
My time here in England as a volunteer has served its purpose. My time here on Earth has a purpose.
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