Tuesday, 1 March 2005

Adventures in the Warburton Motel

Walking back to my seat after a drink, I noticed a thin black something wriggling towards my bed.

Upon closer inspection, my worst fears were confirmed - it was a millepede.

I seriously fought the urge to scream.

Honestly, I hate any form of creepy crawlies. Tie me to a bungy cord and throw me off a bridge. Give me a parachute and tell me to jump out of an airplane. Get me to touch a snake even. But there is no way you can get me near a worm, a cockroach or a spider.

Yet, neither do I want the horrible thing in my room. Images of it crawling up my body and across my face while I sleep was flashing through my head.

I ran around the tiny motel room looking for help. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find, but I was running.

I picked up the newspaper and considered killing the creature with it. Then it struck me that I would have to then get rid of the carcass. And yes, even touching a dead worm sends shivers up my spine. The newspapers were thrown back onto the couch.

Get it out of the room, get it out of the room, get it out of the room...that was the mantra for the next few seconds as I watched it inched closer and closer to my bed.

Finally, I decided to brave the horror. I tore a couple of tissues away from its box and squatted in front of the worm, all the while wishing I was someplace else.

Next came the most traumatising task of getting the stupid thing to crawl up the tissue. I started cursing the fact that the piece of tissue was firstly too small, secondly too soft.

Seriously, getting the thing to actually crawl up the tissue was a nightmare. I tried to slide the tissue under the worm and succeeded only in turning it upside down. I bit down on my lips as it flipped this way and that.

After several tries, and believe me it was horrible, it finally got on the tissue.

That was when pure panic struck.

"Oh God, help me," I cried as I held on to this tiny piece of tissue with the worm crawling on it. I folded the tissue in half, hoping that it would lessen my fear.

My eyes caught sight of the back door. I rushed towards it, all the while keeping an eye on the worm, ensuring that it was more or less staying in the middle of the tissue.

I opened the door and unfolded the tissue. I started wondering how I was going to transfer the worm onto the ground outside.

Then I simply gave up and threw the tissue, worm and all, on the ground and slammed the door shut.

Somewhere in the backyard of the Warburton Motel, there is a piece of tissue with a worm on it.

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